Therapy Approaches: The Gottman Method of Couples Counseling
- Kinsey
- Feb 10
- 3 min read
A Quick Look at Gottman Couples Therapy
Gottman therapy (also known as the Gottman method) is a research-based approach to couples therapy that was created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. This treatment helps couples to rebuild their relationship through the levels of friendship, creating shared meaning, and the positive perspective.
The Big Ideas Behind This Model
The Gottman Method is based around the idea of the Sound Relationship House (pictured below). The Sound Relationship House helps explain the key building blocks of a healthy, lasting relationship as well as helps couples understand what strengthens their connection and what areas may need more support.
Within this model, you will learn practical skills to better manage conflict by identifying the “Four Horsemen”(patterns that can negatively impact relationships). These include:
Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
You will learn how to understand the difference between solvable problems and perpetual problems, helping you approach conflict with more clarity, flexibility, and compassion.
Lastly, you and your partner will focus on building positive moments in your relationship.
Research has shown that happy, healthy couples experience about five positive interactions for every one negative interaction (this is known as the 5:1 ratio)
What The Gottman Method Looks Like in Session
In early sessions, your therapist will provide you with a variety of assessments that will help identify the various areas that should be focused on within your relationship.
From there, your therapist will help facilitate conversations through conflict while also learning skills to avoid continuing these cycles. These skills focus on strengthening friendship, improving communication during conflict, and building shared goals as a couple. You will also receive tools and exercises to practice at home so you can continue checking in with each other and maintaining the progress made in therapy.
This process will help you get to know your partner on a deeper, more fulfilling level and begin to understand what is burdening them. You, your partner, and the therapist will then work together to resolve these core issues.
Who Might Benefit Most from the Gottman Method
The Gottman method has been used for over 40 years and provides training, research, and education to help couples in need. This treatment can be used to address many couples’ issues such as:
Feeling Distant
Conflict
Intimacy Issues
Communication Issues
Infidelity
Lack of Trust
Facing Difficulties Over A Specific Issue (for example: parenting, money, sex)
This is one of the major treatment approaches created specifically to help couples in need and has been proven to be highly effective throughout various groups!
What Makes This Helpful
This method is unique because it is based on a set structure and is a goal-oriented approach. It is filled with assessments, interventions, and exercises that help strengthen the couple and the relationship.
This method helps to provide couples with a complex treatment plan to take home and continue progress on their own outside of sessions. You are sure to leave these sessions feeling set up for success when it comes to handling issues on your own.
What to Keep in Mind
The length of treatment depends on each unique couple as well as the dynamics they bring to their therapy sessions. This is not a one-size-fits-all approach and it is impossible to guarantee how many sessions will be needed to resolve each couple’s unique issues.
Remember: It is important to find a treatment plan, and a therapist, who work best for you and your needs!
Key Takeaways
The Gottman method is used to serve couples at any age and at any stage of their relationship. This method has been shown to be effective through extensive research where couples showed significant improvement in relationship satisfaction and conflict management skills.
If you’re looking for a Gottman couples therapist in Tallahassee, contact Bloom & Heal to begin your journey! We have several therapists who use this model in our sessions and we are ready to help you learn and grow together!
Sources and Further Reading
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